Post 242 | Different

Well. Where to even begin? Let's just dive in I guess.

I felt it coming. I knew it would happen. Something in us would break and shit would go down. Apparently she didn't though. All semester I felt it. It felt distant and, well, not good. Sure enough she saw an inappropriate text from a "friend" of mine and it all snowballed from there.

The short of it is we broke up. Tasha and I are no more. Haven't been so for a few months now. I wont go into all the nitty gritty of it as that kind of information is private and I've processed it with my friends and family and I'm doing well.

Really well.

I think we got stuck and stayed stuck for quite a long time. We got comfortable and just stayed there, and probably would have stayed there forever if something didn't happen. I'm glad it did happen though. It was time for a change. I'm not glad hearts were broken and feelings were hurt, but I'm glad we both have a chance to do some growing now.

And boy have I grown.

Suddenly I'm dating a boy. A magnificent boy. His name is Tommie and he's what I need in my life. Supportive, caring, loving, funny, charming, sexy... the whole package. We play video games together and he loves all of my quirks and geeky things.

Tomorrow we will have been "boyfriends" for a month. I'm happier than I've been in a very long time. I've told him a lot of stuff that I tend to keep bottled up and to myself. I feel incredibly comfortable around him and everything is going great...

But, of course, there's a catch. He's shipping off to basic training for the Navy at the beginning of December. He's going off to become a corpsman (this is a fancy word for Navy medic). And while at first I was very uncertain about this fact, scared and put off by it even, I've come to accept it. He is going into it to learn and gain an education on how to save lives. He's already looking at his career after his military contract is up.

He's not learning how to be an infantryman, he's learning how to save those people. It's still something I struggle with accepting; however, I think he's worth it.

I've fallen in love with him and he's worth it. There will be a two months there where our only contact will be letters but then after that it's just a long distance relationship situation. Which, as my friend Rebecca said, if we want to make it work, we'll make it work.

It's going to be tough, but so far everything is fantastic. We've had very deep and meaningful conversations about what it means for him going into all of this and what I'm comfortable with and uncomfortable with hearing about. I've also told him about everything that's happened to me in my last relationship.

We'll see what happens. For now I'm having fun and doing really well.

Life is incredibly different now but different in a fantastic way.

Post 241 | Ceremony

And thus ends my career taking classes in college.

Yeah, just the classes part, for some odd reasons I still have internship hours left to finish but whatever, I'll be done with them by the middle of July and then I get to move on from Olivet for real.

But! I still get to walk on Saturday. Walk in that graduation ceremony where I will wear one of those funny hats and robes and look kinda strange but then get a fake diploma thing and bam, no more Olivet campus for me.

That being said... It is indeed a very bittersweet time for me. On one hand I get to leave this god-forsaken place; on the other, I have to leave my friends. The friends who I have come to love and cherish these past four years.

As I type I sit watching four of them play Battlefront II as they duke it out in galactic conquest. I find it both humorous and terrifying as the tension is high and the friendships between them hang in the balance.

It has been an odd four years for me. I came out as bi, pushed my way through college, and have developed some (well maybe one or two) great friendships.

There's more life still to come and talks about what is next has me excited and afraid.

We moved a lot of the stuff out of the apartment today and it now looks incredibly barren. After being so comfortable in it for the past eight months, it is very hard to see the place begin to fall apart. But life moves on. We all have our own things to do now. One of my roommates even moved into his own apartment today.

I will be moving back home to complete my internship. I will be working at the hospital like I have done for the past three summers. My bosses are excited to have me back and I am excited to be going back. They may be eliminating my position come August, so only time will tell if it becomes a long term thing or not.

I am going to apply for a job I desperately want in San Francisco. It is for the website Giant Bomb. It's a website about video games. I have probably talked about it before on this thing but ya never know. If you like video games and fun you should probably look it up.

Anyways, my time at Olivet is coming to a close. As I spend these last days reflecting and saying goodbye to friends I remember everything that has changed and some things that have remained the same. I look forward to growing even further now that I can get out of this hellish bubble.

Thanks as always for reading and for sticking with me through all of my years in school.

"Time flies like an arrow, fruit flies like a banana" - Groucho Marx.

Post 240 | 2013

Well, there it went. 2013 is dead and gone and thus arises 2014.

It's been a while since I posted. Crazy crazy busy.

The end of the school year flew by. Thanksgiving then finals just took it all out of me. My senior speech happened... Sometimes I laugh and remember I finished it. I got an A- (or a Pass) which I am COMPLETELY happy about. I am so grateful that is over with. It was killing me.

Christmas has come and gone as well! So many family things and parties and seeing people I have been completely sucked into everything and have barely had a chance to catch my breath. I was about to say I finally have a chance but I have family coming in on Friday for a week! It doesn't end!

This post is more of a look back at 2013 though so let's see about that.

2013. I turned 21. I posted here that I am bisexual. I kept on trucking. I played video games. I started a podcast with my friend Cody. I loved. Giant Bomb lost a cofounder. Emotions everywhere. It was just a pretty good year.

I gained job security for after college. I had a great time at my friend's cabin. The PlayStation 4 came out. I learned a lot in school. I've made new friends. I've relaxed around others. I edited my book twice and prepared a query letter to send out! This weekend will probably be research/get letters ready weekend.

I think I've become more me.

I am trying to be more honest and open about who I am. It's a process but I am getting there. Before I felt the need to censor myself in front of people or try and not be vocal about the things I care about; but, as time goes on, I am doing that less often than I used to. Trying to be me.

2013 was a pretty decent year. I enjoyed it. It had the number 13 in it so I had to enjoy it. Well I didn't have to but I did. It was a fun year. I am looking forward to 2014 more I think though. I am GRADUATING. Yes, that needed all caps. I will graduate school and get on into the real world.

This semester is going to be a challenge I think. Not hard classes probably, but mental preparation for the real world. Seeing my friends less and getting on with my life and all that.

It's the adventure that awaits me. I am very much looking forward to it. If any of you are where I am I hope you are looking forward to it as well. It's exciting. Let's get excited!

Post 239 | Launch

PS4 Launch day has come and gone...

Exciting! Unless your PS4 comes broken from Amazon.

I preordered it the second I could during the press conference and lo and behold the thing comes busted. It started up after a few restarts, tried to update, then would just pulse the blue light over and over again endlessly. No matter how many times I took out and then put back in the HDD, nothing.

So, I spent a long time on hold with Sony, waiting and waiting, with their crackly waiting music. During that time I scrolled through the PS4 support forums. During that search I stumbled across a post from someone claiming something interesting. He claimed that he had gotten through to Sony, and they told him to take his PS4 to the Sony store and they would replace it on the spot for free.

I didn’t believe it.

Until someone else posted that they did the same thing. Or at least called and the Sony store confirmed this. So, I called my closest Sony store (an hour and a half away). The person was confused at first, but told me to hold on, and lo and behold I could bring it in no problem.

So, I rounded up some friends and hit the road. I got there and this is where it got interesting…

The person doing the exchange informed me that this is something Sony had foreseen coming and planned for. They realized there were units having problems and shipped extra units to some Sony stores for this purpose. But he also said they were not announcing this. People had to call the store and ask and find out. Curious? I think so.

If it were not for that one post in that one forum that I stumbled across, I would still have a dead PS4 instead of a brand new one that seems to be working wonderfully.

He also said he had five amazon dead PS4s, a Meijer one, and a WalMart one. So it doesn’t seem specific to any retailer.

When he brought out the new one it was in a special box that seemed to be rushed shipping to be specific for replacing dead ones. It made me wonder if was ensured to be working. I had him start up the thing at the store just to make sure. He had the cords already set up at the station to test it so I am assuming I wasn’t the only one who had requested it.

It seemed interesting to me that they had set up this fail safe without telling anyone. They probably didn’t want a rush of people getting replacements, instead limited it to those who cared the most to call the store.

They also had 10 systems still left for sale.

The sales rep was super awesome and understanding about it. I wish I had gotten his name so I could thank him. He was happy that Sony had taken care of this as well.

It may suck real bad that there are a bunch of bricked PS4s out there, but if you have one and can get to a Sony store it seems like they have the ability to replace them. Just call to make sure.

I’m just glad I have one and it’s been working great for a couple hours now. My friends and I are live streaming it here:http://www.twitch.tv/thebrokenhammer playing some games and talking in weird accents from time to time.

That’s my PS4 launch day adventure. I hope you all had a better one and are enjoying your PS4s.