Post 184 | Thoughts

Is it bad when you are afraid to share with the one you are supposed to be closest with what you are thinking? I think so...

I believe it was last Sunday when I sat down with my computer and proceeded to type a nearly two-thousand word post. It was insane and contained every little thing I was thinking about there and then. It was quite something. Then I realized it was probably not the greatest idea to go posting it in case someone should stumble upon it and not be very happy. But now I am thinking I should just post it.

There are things I am unhappy about in my relationship but no matter when I try to bring something up she just brings up that no matter what she does I only point out the bad stuff. BUT WHAT GOOD STUFF IS SHE DOING?!?!?! That is my question. I honestly don't know.

This is the part where I would ramble on and on about this but I already did that in the post I did not post so I will move on to other thoughts. This is me blatantly stating I don't know why I am at this school anymore. It's great here and the people are great here but I honestly don't know if I can handle all of the God stuff anymore. It is becoming way too much for me. She wont even talk to me about faith stuff...

And I am very confused right now and am not even sure if I believe in God anymore. I would like to, and I would like to think there is a heaven but I am not sure. If I try to bring it up to her I don't think she will care, she never really has, she just says I grew up in it more so than you so I am better than you and I can't help you understand and I don't care...

Or something like that. At least that is what I have come to expect.

AHHHHHH. Let's move on to a lighter topic. People are freaking out about the girl LEGOs that have recently be released. WHY? LEGO is acknowledging that not all girls want to play with Star Wars and guys with guns and stuff and they are releasing these sets for people who want them, not for people to get upset about. They are not cornering away boys from LEGOs they are just acknowledging some basic facts.

Get over it. If girls want girly LEGOs then TLG should release them. Seriously.

School is going alright, just rumbling along with it. I want it to be summer and to have a job again and to be making money again so I can get some stuff I want. I guess this is me acknowledging that I spend money to make myself feel better. It doesn't really help in the long run I guess but it does in the short and right now that's all I can see.

I don't know what I want out of life anymore. I really don't. Lots of internal battles right now. I am sure there are a lot of you facing them too, so if you wanna chat or anything hit me up at jneuman13@gmail.com and we can talk about stuff. Sometimes it's good to get if off of your chest. Thanks for reading whoever is out there.